Do you know what I love? People who say “It’s your job to educate me.” Because of the work I do, and because of the fact that I’m basically an intersectionality salad, people are constantly telling me that it’s my job to educate them.
I had this realization the other day: Jobs are paid. I don’t remember filling out a W-2.
Does this job come with benefits? Because I could really use some dental and some optical. How long is our lunch break? Do y’all do direct deposit? What’s the dress code? Would y’all mind if I dyed my hair fire engine red?
And by dye, I mean use red Kanekalon packs when I’m redoing my twists.
I am so sorry, but I don’t remember getting a check from you.
This video is inspired by someone who was catching me in the midst of an argument about racism, who told me that instead of being upset, I should just calm down and educate them. That’s my job, after all.
It is so exhausting to do the kind of work that I do and to be constantly told over and over again that I need to educate people.
Listen, I am very polite and I am very patient. When I get into these conversations with people, especially about racism, I tend to respond with education. If you ever see me cussing somebody out, you know that they tried my very last nerve – my very, very last nerve.
It is so demeaning and dehumanizing to explain to people of privilege why people like them have historically and currently oppressed people like me.
The act of you pressuring me into explaining why I’m valid as a black woman of trans experience is dehumanizing.
As a black person, racism will likely always be part of my life. The history of racism is something that I’ve taken the time to understand and educate myself about. There’s a reason why you feel like you can demand that I educate you, as opposed to just simply looking it up – and that’s what gets me.
People are always telling me that I need to educate them. Meanwhile, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
I literally devote hundreds of hours into researching, writing, editing, and filming educational videos for YouTube, yet still told that if I really want to have a progressive conversation that I need to calm down and educate people.
Let’s be real. These people don’t want to be educated.
You looked at my skin tone, and you looked at my gender, and just assumed that I was just too lazy to put the work in. That frustrates the hell out of me – because that’s a stereotype that I have to fight against both inside and outside of this conversation.
Feeling like you’re entitled to firsthand accounts about the abuse that I’ve experienced as a minority in this country reeks privilege.
If I wanted to learn how to oil paint, I’m going to go to the library, check out a book, and read up on it. I’m going to go seek out the information because I actually want to understand it, and I’m invested in understanding it. If after doing my own investigation and learning the basics, maybe then I’ll go to a professional and ask them for some advice.
But if they don’t want to give me that advice, I’m not going to tell them that it’s their job to do so. Sure, they could take the time out of their schedule to help me understand something, but they’re not obligated to.
If they do take the time out of their schedule to explain something to me, I’m going to be appreciative. I’m going to be beyond thankful, because asking them to personally educate me was asking them to take away time from what they were doing and focus on what I was asking.
In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. If you want to know about almost anything, you can find the answer online. If you got to this video, you could easily get to my other videos, where I break down misogyny, transphobia, racism, et cetera.
It’s there for you. Take advantage of it.
I created content because I believe that having these conversations is very very productive – but I don’t need to have them. Having them is very personally taxing to me, and sometimes I just don’t want to talk about it.
Have you ever had somebody demand that you educate them about a personal struggle that you experience? If so, how did you respond? Let me know in the comment box below.
Anyways, whether you get it or you don’t, always remember and never forget that you are beautiful and you are loved. Bye.
