Speaker 1: I’m so glad you could make it tonight, Gabs. I heard you were going on a hot date, so I didn’t think you were coming. What happened with that?
The Date: (Raises hand) It’s me, I’m the date.
Speaker 1: Oh… Oh!
Gabi: I just think they’re going to be a little bit weird because the last time I was here, I was dating Neal.
The Date: This is 2014. They’ll get it.
Gaby: Okay… (Enters party) Hey!
Speaker 4: (Speaking to Gaby, as her date is standing next to her) So are you seeing anyone? (Gaby starts pointing to her date).
Speaker 5: (Speaking to the date) So Gaby is bi, and you’re a lesbian… Tricky!
Speaker 6: Hey Gaby, is your friend single?
Gaby: That’s actually my girlfriend, so no.
Speaker 6: Nice.
Speaker 7: Oh, you have a girlfriend now? Is your ex-boyfriend like super mad?
Gaby: No?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I made out with a girl in college once, so I totally like get this (waving their hand over the couple.)
Speaker 5: You guys must be having so many threesomes. That must be exciting.
Gabi: Oh, my ex-boyfriend liked that band.
Speaker 6: Your ex-girlfriend.
Gabi: No no, my ex-boyfriend.
Speaker 6: You’re a lesbian.
Gabi: No.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 5: It makes sense that Gabi is bi because she has a huge fear of commitment. It’s like boy, girl, boy, girl! Who knows! Don’t tell her I said that.
Speaker 9: No, I hate men too. You’re so lucky.
Gabi: No, I don’t hate men.
Speaker 9: No it’s fine if you do. Your like, “Vagina!” and I’m like, “Uh, I wish vagina!”
Speaker 10: That’s your girlfriend? But she’s so pretty.
Speaker 11: But you’re so pretty.
Speaker 12: I was just hanging out with my girlfriend the other night and …
Gabi: Your girlfriend? Oh thank God, so you also date a woman?
Speaker 12: Oh no, I just meant my female friend.
Speaker 5: Do you feel competition with men because they have a penis?
Carol: Is it like soooo different?
Gabi: I guess I’m buying more conditioner for the shower now.
Carol: No, which one do you like better?
Gabi: I don’t know, Carol. Whose dick did you like better, your ex’s or Craig’s?
Carol: Rude!
Gabi: (Speaking to Speaker 14) This is my girlfriend.
Speaker 14: Nice to meet you.
The Date: Nice to meet you, too. (Turning to Gabi) Finally.
