Do you know what I love? Getting called out and learning something from it.
In my video about #AllLivesMatter, some people took issue to the use of the term “differently abled.” This isn’t my first time being called out for ableism. Ableism, for those of you who don’t know, is prejudice against people with disabilities in favor of able bodied people.
I first started seeing this term when I saw that my videos were being reblogged with a trigger warning for ableism. When I first started seeing this, it actually upset me quite a bit. Some of you might know that my mother suffers from MS, and because of that, she has extremely limited mobility. It was really hard for me to see her [change] from someone who was really active, and really all about her health, and all about working out and things like that, to somebody who basically needed help getting to the bathroom.
She’s someone who honestly tends to poke fun at her situation and makes light of it all the time. When I was living with my mother, I was her main source of support. Being accused of ableism kind of really offended me because how could I be ableist if I’m supporting my disabled mother?
Then I had a realization: It’s not about me.
Despite my mothers situation and my support of her, I can be ableist. Unfortunately, ableist language has been part of my vocabulary since I was a child. Ableist language includes terms that we use all the time without thinking, words like “stupid,” “crazy,” “dumb,” “lame,” and “insane” are all examples of ableist terms. These terms are ableist because they equate negativity to disability.
Now, because these words are so common, when you’re being told that you should omit these terms, you could respond with acquisitions that the PC police are just out of control. If we’re being honest at the end of the day, there are other words that we can use that will more accurately communicate what we’re trying to say.
Words like “uncomfortable,” “intense,” “asinine,” [text on the screen reads: “Note: It has since been pointed out to me that the word asinine is ableist. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention!”] and “outlandish” are terms that could easily replace the terms that I just mentioned.
When I was called out for my use of the term differently abled, I have to be honest and say that my first response to that was dismissal. After all, the video is about racism, and I find that people often tend to try to place some antics when trying to argue against my points.
After doing my own research, I discovered an amazing website called Autistic Hoya, and on there, there’s a great article that explains why the term differently abled is problematic. Differently abled was a term that was created to supposedly humanize people with disabilities. The intent was to remove the perceived negativity in the term disabled, and state that people with disabilities are just simply “differently abled.”
In reality, the term reiterates this idea that there’s a standard way to be human and a standard way of navigating the world. Ultimately, it others people with disabilities even further and honestly is quite patronizing. Full disclosure, there are probably a lot of people within the disabled community who don’t have an issue with the term differently abled, or any of the other terms that I just mentioned. However, I feel that’s their prerogative, and as an ally, I think it’s my job to take a queue from them.
That being said, I’m going to try to make a point of trying to omit that language from my vocabulary. Being called out for ableism was upsetting and uncomfortable for me. Being uncomfortable is just part of being an ally, and honestly if your allyship is comfortable, it’s probably lazy or just ineffective.
It should be uncomfortable because we’re born into this world that has certain biases set in place. When you’re an ally you usually operate from a position of privilege, and because you operate from a position of privilege, you have to constantly be aware of the fact that you have these privileges, and that they hurt other people. Honestly, that’s an uncomfortable realization to have.
Ableism is one of those issues that’s really not discussed, but it’s a huge issue. I’m very thankful for the people that have called me out, and helped me to understand. While I may be oppressed in many ways, in this particular situation I stood at a place of privilege. It’s my job to listen to people with disabilities, and understand what I can do to help them.
I am not saying that I’m perfect. As an ally, I’m bound to make mistakes, but being aware of an issue and accept that it is an issue, is the first step to proper allyship.
Have you ever been called out for doing anything that was problematic? If so, what was it, and did you learn anything from it? Let me know in the comment box below.
On that note, as per usual, always remember and never forget, that you are beautiful, and you are loved. Bye.
Before I go, I wanted to tell you guys that there’s free international shipping in my store this week. If you get anything from my store, take a picture and send it to me, and I’ll put you in my video next time there’s free shipping.
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