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Suicidal Survival Guide – Christine Deneweth
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(Crass talking and smiling. She has short curly hair, glasses, and green shirt.)
Crass: Hi, my name is Crass, and I’m queer and mentally ill. My mental illness has been severe enough for me to feel suicidal – so much so I tried to take my own life three years ago. And even after my attempt, I continue to be suicidal.
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(Crass talking.)
Crass: These feelings don’t just vanish. Though I have wonderful and supportive friends, most of them have their own problems or live far away. So they aren’t always available when I need them. And since I’m not the only one with suicidal ideation, I’ve made a guide for myself and others to help with these feelings for when our friends aren’t available.
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(Cat holding up sign with phone number: 1-800-273-8255.)
Text: First of all, if you are in immediate danger, please call a help line! They are friendly and really care! National Suicide Prevention: 1-800-273- 8255.
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(Dog holding up sign with phone number 1-866-488-7386.)
Text: For an LGBTQIA+ friendly line, please call the Trevor Lifeline! They specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ people and are here to help! 1-866-488-7386.
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(Ferret holding a sign with a phone number 1-877-565-8860.)
Text: And for trans folks, there is the Trans Lifeline. Which is run by dedicated transgender folks that care about your well being! 1-877-565-8860.
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(Crass looking at her phone.)
Text: But sometimes even after you talk to someone on a hotline, you might not automatically feel better.
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(Crass crying.)
Text: It can take multiple strategies to de-escalate these feelings when they are immanently affecting you.
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(Crass taking a deep breath.)
Text: Let’s take a deep breath together and we’ll get through this. Below are seven strategies that often work for me. Hopefully they can be some help for you as well.
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(Image of a marker.)
Text: #1 If you feel yourself wanting to harm yourself. Draw on yourself instead.
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(Crass talking.)
Crass: I used to self harm, and I would always regret it the day after I did it.
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(Crass drawing on her arm and rubbing ice on it.)
Text: I started drawing on myself and putting ice over the drawing to replace the pain.
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(Crass’ arm with drawings on it.)
Text: The sensation of the ice mimics the sensation of pain without you causing harm to yourself. You can remove the ice whenever you feel ready, and it leaves no marks behind.
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(Crass’ arm with drawings on it.)
Text: Draw whatever feels right to you. I like to draw a lot of animals up my whole arm and pretend it’s a big tattoo. You can also write your loved one’s names on yourself.
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(Crass looking at her arm.)
Text: It’s nice to look down at something beautiful you created on yourself.
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(A hill with some trees on it.)
Text: #2 Get outside! Even for ten minutes!
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(Crass drinking tea.)
Text: If you’re feeling up to it, try to go somewhere like a cafe or a diner.
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(Crass talking to a man.)
Text: Sometimes a change of location and small interactions with people can improve your mood.
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(Crass looking at a bird flying off of a tree)
Text: Even a little fresh air is enough to change your mental state.
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(Crass laying in the grass.)
Text: If going somewhere is too much, then find a nice patch of grass to relax in.
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(Crass looking out the window.)
Text: Remember: It’s all about your comfort zone. If going out is going to cause you stress, then open a window.
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(Image of a bathtub with bubbles.)
Text: #3 Take a relaxing shower of bath.
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(Crass crying while taking a bath.)
Text: Take all of the time you need, and cry it out if you need to.
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(Crass relaxing in the bath with a candle lit.)
Text: If it’s safe for you, light some candles for extra luxury.
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(Image of a bowl of ramen.)
Text: #4 Make your favorite thing to eat!
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(Crass smiling looking at her phone.)
Text: If you have trouble eating like me, set an alarm on your phone and try to eat something when it goes off.
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(Crass drinking water.)
Text: Until then, you can never have enough water!
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(Image of a paper and pencil.)
Text: #5 Write/Draw it out!
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(Crass ripping up and throwing her drawing.)
Text: Make a list of what’s wrong and ways to fix it. Draw your emotions! Rip it up if you want!
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(Crass drawing on a table.)
Text: Do it every 10 minutes and see how your emotions change!
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(Image of photo album and laptop.)
Text: #6 Look at old pictures.
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(An old picture of Crass on a laptop.)
Text: Look at how far you’ve come! Look at all of the people you’ve met and the lives you’ve touched! You should be proud you’ve come this far!
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(Crass smiling.)
Text: You didn’t quit back then, so why should you quit now?
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(A journal with a heart on it.)
Text: #7 Keep a gratitude journal
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(Crass writing in her journal.)
Text: Write down everything that you’re grateful for, write down your hopes, write down what you love!
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(Crass reading journal.)
Text: Keep it to look at whenever you’re feeling low. Keep adding to it, too!
Panel 37
(Crass talking and smiling.)
Crass: It’s okay to feel these feelings. And it’s okay to reach out. You’re not a bother or a broken record.
Panel 38
(Crass talking and smiling.)
Crass: You matter to a lot of people even if they don’t tell you all the time. You could never be replaced, and you have so much to do in this world still.
Panel 39
(Crass talking and smiling.)
Crass: Let’s do this together! Let’s fight back together! We need each other! Every single day is a victory!