Speaker 1: Have you ever heard a “How I Met Your Mother” story like this?
Speaker 2: Well, I yelled, “Hey, you have a nice ass!” And then, the rest was history.
Speaker 3: Has this ever worked for you?
Speaker 2: Do we look like we’re enjoying it?
Speaker 4: I may laugh it off and seem like it’s funny, but in reality, I’m really scared. It makes me feel disgusting.
Speaker 5: Do you actually think saying, “Hey baby, wanna suck my dick right now?” is a great conversation starter?
Speaker 4: That’s the best you have to offer, in terms of reaching out to the opposite sex?
Speaker 6: Why do you think you have the right to say nasty things to me just because I’m wearing something that makes me feel good?
Speaker 7: Do you do it to impress other guys around you?
Speaker 8: Does degrading me make you feel like more of a man?
Speaker 2: Is this some rich, family tradition that you hope to pass on to your children?
Speaker 9: What would you do if you heard someone talking like that to your mother or sister?
Speaker 7: Why would you ever think this is a compliment?
Speaker 5: If it makes me uncomfortable, it’s no longer a compliment; it’s a threat.
Speaker 2: Do you realize that you are the reason why I took a self-defense class?
Speaker 4: Why do you go out of your way to make me feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 8: Literally, what is going through your brain when you’re shouting at me? Do you like me shouting at you?
Speaker 7: You do realize that actually stopping and thinking before you commit an action is what separates humans apart from animals, right? Are you going to go pee on stuff to claim it, too?
Speaker 2: What gives you the authority to tell a woman that you don’t know to smile?
Speaker 9: Why can’t you just do something nice to make me smile?
Speaker 5: If so many women hate it, why do you keep doing it?
Speaker 4: You probably hate women, right?
Speaker 8: How would you feel if someone larger, and physically threatening to you, yelled out demeaning things about your body?
Speaker 9: Did you notice that after you yelled at me, that I started walking away faster?
Speaker 2: Why are you making mwah, mwah, mwah noises at me? Am I a dog?
Speaker 5: Like what book did you read that from? Because it needs to be burned, along with whoever wrote it.
Speaker 6: Is this stress relief? Is this a bad habit?
Speaker 3: Are you compensating for something?
Speaker 4: How do you really want me to react?
Speaker 8: Do you really think I owe you a response?
Speaker 5: Why do you think that you’re entitled to my time? My precious time that I spend doing meaningful things. Just because you want to tell me that I have a hot ass.
Speaker 4: I wish I didn’t have to just change something about me because you can’t control yourself.
Speaker 8: If we’re ever really going to reach gender equality, we have to stop viewing each other as meat.
Speaker 1: Can we all just agree that catcalling sucks and that we should stop it?
Speaker 5: I don’t know how to say this – you know I’m not going to fuck you, right? I’m not going to do it tomorrow. I’m not going to do it the day after that. I’m not going to do it next week. I’m sure as hell not about to do it next year. That is not on my New Year’s Resolution list, to fuck a guy who catcalled me.