Who We’re Leaving Out of Sex Positivity – And How to Make It More Inclusive

April 15, 2016 / Ronnie Ritchie

You’re probably familiar with the traditional vision of “sex positivity” – talking about all the ways that sex can be great.

This can be a good start to challenging sex negativity, which makes sex seem shameful. But do you know who’s getting left out of this kind of positivity?

This comic shows why we need a change. And it offers a practical key to making our sex positivity more inclusive. Check out this new way to approach sex positivity so that more people can get something meaningful out of it.

With Love,
The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

Panel 1

Text: There is a traditional vision of “sex positivity”.

(A feminine person in bright pink with the image of the eggplant emoji on their shirt, smiling brightly, arms open wide.)

Sex-Positive Person: Sex is great! Let me talk about all the ways that sex is great!

Panel 2

Text: This idea is meant to subvert what’s called “sex negativity”…

(A person scowls, pointing aggressively.)

Sex-Negative Person: You should never talk about sex! That’s dirty!

Panel 3

Text: …But the super-positive kind of sex positivity also leaves out a lot of voices.

(A row of people gather together, empty space around them, as if left alone.)

Person 1: I had a really bad experience with sex and I want someone to talk to about it.

Person 2: I’m not really into sex.

Person 3: Sex is really difficult and/or painful for me and I want to learn how to live my life instead of constantly trying to fix it!

Panel 4

Text: Instead, let’s think of sex positivity in this way…

(Sex-positive person stands in the same pose, the two instances of the phrase “sex is great!” are scribbled out, as well as “me”, which is corrected to “us”.)

Sex-Positive Person: Let us talk about all the ways that sex is!

Panel 5

Text: The way that our sex negative culture holds power over us is by saturating our culture with one kind of sex while silencing all of our other voices by insisting it’s inappropriate to discuss.

(The sex-negative person still stands, scowling, but several large posters featuring the sexualized figures of curvaceous white women tower over them.)

Sex-negative Person: Don’t even THINK about it!

Panel 6

Text: But if we can talk about ALL KINDS of sex– the good, the bad, and the hilarious– we end up learning more about ourselves and how we can be good to ourselves and to each other.

(People gather together in a huge room, everyone speaking to each other, bits of conversation floating about.)

Person 1: Man, I used to have sex all the TIME, but I actually HATE it!

Person 2: Me too!

Person 3: Oh my god, I didn’t know oral could be so great!

Person 4: Once I accepted that a partner can’t get me off as well as toys can on their own and just enjoyed the connection I felt, I really started to like partner sex.

Person 5: I got into BDSM because I thought I just didn’t like vanilla sex, and I love it– right up until genitals get involved!

Person 6: And then they both farted AT THE SAME TIME! None of us could stop laughing!

Person 7: I don’t know if I’ll have sex with other people again after the abuse I endured, but either way, I feel like I’m living for myself again, and that I have the tools to keep it that way.

Text: …And that’s a pretty positive experience.

To learn more about this topic, check out:

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Ronnie Rene Ritchie is a Contributing Comic Artist for Everyday Feminism, an illustrator, and storyteller working out of Peterborough, Ontario. Since graduating from the Pacific Northwest College of Art in Portland, Oregon with a BFA in Illustration, Ronnie has had work featured in galleries and sex shops across North America, and their autobiographical webcomic, GQutie, has seen its popularity soar online. Learn more about GQutie, Ronnie’s illustration, or follow them on Twitter @ronithebear.