10 Tips to Remember If You Have Borderline Personality Disorder

June 16, 2016 / Christine Deneweth

We know it can be scary to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) – and the stigma against your disorder sure doesn’t help.

This comic can help you find some hope, with tips for self-care, ways to manage your symptoms, and some encouraging reminders so you know that you’re not alone.

It’s possible to live the life you want to live with BPD. Your wellbeing matters, and you deserve to take good care of yourself.

With Love,
The Editors at Everyday Feminism

bpd 1 bpd 2 bpd 3 bpd 4 bpd 5 bpd 6 bpd 7 bpd 8 bpd 9

bpd 10 bpd 11 bpd 12 bpd 13 bpd 14

Click for the Transcript

Panel 1

Text: So You Have Borderline Personality Disorder? 10 Things to Remember – Christine Deneweth

Panel 2

Lorna talking. She has short pink and blue hair, cat ears, and a pink shirt.

Lorna: Hi, my name is Lorna and I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Panel 3

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: I understand how scary it can be to be diagnosed with BPD and the stigma against it doesn’t help. But I’m here to offer you self-care, advice, and ways to cope.

Panel 4

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Before I get into my list, the most important thing is that you’re not alone. Other people feel what you feel and know what you’re going through.

Panel 5

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Lots of us manage to live the lives we want to live and we have found ways to manage our symptoms.

Panel 6

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: There are support groups on Facebook, Tumblr, and Live Journal. We build each other up and we use our own language – language that I’ll be using in this comic.

Panel 7

Text: 1: Therapy and Medication First

Panel 8

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Therapy is extremely helpful because you get a second point of view by a trained professional. And medication can work wonders. Good therapists want you to be the best you possible and will do everything to get you there.

Panel 9

Lorna talking.

Lorna: Having someone to be able to help me unpack my emotions and offer positive feedback has really made things more manageable. And I use medication to ease some of my symptoms. It’s really been life changing for me.

Panel 10

Text: 2: Hobbies, Interests, and Passions are Key

Panel 11

Lorna talking.

Lorna: I’m proudly involved in the furry community and I’m an artist. Both of these things help me relax and focus on something positive.

Panel 12

Lorna talking.

Lorna: I also like to go on Tumblr to connect with other people, see relatable content, and vent if I need to.

Panel 13

Text: 4: Ask Your Friends For Supportive Notes or Drawings to Hang on to

Panel 14

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Tangible forms of affection are really important to me. Just having notes and drawings from my friends really means a lot to me.

Panel 15

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: When you’re feeling good, write about things that make you happy, things to look forward to, things you’re proud of, and hang onto it. A little self-love can go a long way.

Panel 16

Text: 4: How to Reach Out to Someone 101

Panel 17

Text: I understand that forming stable relationships can be hard. Be patient with yourself and don’t beat yourself up for needing space or needing attention. Communicate your needs! The more direct you are about what you’re communicating the better someone can help.

Panel 18

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Your needs are valid and you’re not needy or cold-hearted for having them. Communication is key for maintaining relationships.

Panel 19

Text: 5: It’s OK to Reach Out Your Friends, They Care About How You’re Feeling

Panel 20

Text: It’s okay to reach out, even if it’s multiple times a day. It’s okay to have a FP. A FP is person someone with BPD idealizes and depends on the most. This is the go-to person for everything. Usually they know the person has BPD.

Panel 21

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Don’t worry if you don’t have a FP. You aren’t less of a person with BPD if you don’t have one. Just focus on self-love and self-care.

Panel 22

Text: 6: Your Anger or Sadness Doesn’t Define You

Panel 23

Lorna talking and smiling

Lorna: Sometimes it feels like ages since I’ve been happy. We call this emotional permanence: Understanding that emotions and concepts exist when they are not directly observed. Many people with BPD struggle with this and need reassurance.

Panel 24

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Something I remember is that my emotions are valid and there’s so much more to me than them. I’m a good person and a good friend when it comes down to it. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that when I’m feeling low.

Panel 25

Text: 7: It’s OK to Explore Your Identity and It’s OK if it Changes

Panel 26

Lorna talking.

Lorna: It took me a long time to figure out who I was, and some days I’m still not sure. And it’s okay not to be sure. I used to be really into zombies and macabre things. But now I like rainbows and pink. It’s okay to explore, it’s okay to change.

Panel 27

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Don’t let anyone tell you who you are and who you aren’t. It’s all about your comfort.

Panel 28

Text: 8: How to Deal with Jealousy and Insecurity When You Want to Reach Out

Panel 29

Text: For jealousy, it’s best to admit it to your friend. Letting it fester will only make it worse. You still matter to your friend, you just need to explain what your needs are so they can understand and help. It’s okay to feel jealous.

Panel 30

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: For insecurity, just remember that you matter to your friends. They care if you need help. There is no such thing as too much help. You are not needy or a burden. It’s okay to feel insecure.

Panel 31

Text: 9: What to do When You’re Angry at Your Friend For Not Being There

Panel 32

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Give yourself some time to process your emotions. If you need to, tell your friend you need a little break. Make sure you’ve cooled down before you speak to your friend.

Panel 33

Lorna talking and smiling.

Text: It’s not fun when it feels like no one is there for you. But remember, you still matter to your friend even if they aren’t always there when you need them.

Panel 34

Text: 10: How to Deal with Rejection

Panel 35

Text: Rejection is hard but it doesn’t mean that nothing can come from it. You can still have a relationship with the person, just in a different way. And if there isn’t a relationship there, then celebrate the relationships you do have in your life.

Panel 36

Text: Unfortunately rejection will happen at some point, but it doesn’t mean you are unlovable. It just means that particular relationship wasn’t meant to be. You are still loved and you still matter.

Panel 37

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Remember that you are not alone! Check out these Facebook groups! BPD Char and Share, BPD Safe Haven, and BPD support.

Panel 38

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: And for those on Tumblr check out these blogs! BPD Concept, BPD Suggestions, and Cheese Tries To Help.

Panel 39

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Explore and find places that make you comfortable. And don’t be afraid to speak up!

Panel 40

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Remember what you feel is valid. It isn’t irrational or an overreaction. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Panel 41

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: Reaching out is okay! You are loved and you matter ALL OF THE TIME!

Panel 42

Lorna talking and smiling.

Lorna: It’s okay to have BPD!

To learn more about this topic, check out:

[do_widget id=’text-101′]

Christine Deneweth is a Contributing Comic Artist for Everyday Feminism. A queer cartoonist and artist, Christine lives in Ypsilanti, Michigan. She is a cartoonist for Eastern Michigan University’s newspaper the Eastern Echo. She writes children’s books about mental disability and has a comic strip that has been published for five years. Comics can be found on her Facebook page, and art can be found on her Instagram @crassaster. Check out her work here!