Participant 1: Team versus team.
Participant 2: That’s as good as it gets.
Participant 3: Oh man, I’ve never had more fun in my whole life.
Participant 4: Uh-oh. Daddy’s outta beer. I’m gonna go get another one, dude.
Participant 1: This your card?
Participant 2: No, Lamorne, stop doing magic. You’re not good at it.
[bear roaring]
Participant 4: Guys! Whoa, dude! There’s a bear in your other room here.
Participant 3: What?
Participant 2: Oh that’s just a big, angry, hungry bear. Just pretend it’s not there.
Participant 4: Oh, really? Right, it’ll just go away? What are you talking about?
Participant 2: No, I don’t think it’s going anywhere, but I don’t know what to do about it, so I just ignore it.
Participant 3: So it’s not like—it’s not dangerous, right?
Participant 2: Define dangerous. It’s a bear. But, you know, it’s not going to eat all of us. It only eats, like, one in five.
Participant 1: One in five?
Participant 2: I said only one in five, so we’re fine.
Participant 5: That’s a lot, man.
Participant 3: That means that one of us is going to be eaten!
Participant 2: Statistically! It doesn’t mean one of us, it means one in five people get eaten.
Participant 4: Why aren’t you doing something about this mess?
Participant 2: What do you want me to do about it? You guys know the old saying, “Bears will be bears!”
Participant 1: That’s not a saying.
Participant 2: Lamorne. A bear will be a bear, so—
Participant 1: You can’t just blame the bear, not when it’s attacking 20% of the people who come here!
Participant 2: Ha ha, 20%? I said one in five.
Participant 1: Yes. That’s 20%.
Participant 2: No, it isn’t. It’s one in five, you math nerd! Let’s pile on this guy.
Participant 5: Dude, you gotta get rid of this thing!
Participant 4: Or at least warn us that there is a bear in the other room, man! We gotta look out for each other! What’re you doing?
Participant 2: Hey, what happens between you guys and the bear is none of my business.
Participant 4: Wait, how is this none of your business, man? One in five people are going to get attacked by this bear!
[bear starts breaking through door as everybody screams]
Participant 2: God, you’re overreacting! The bear’s not going to eat all of us. It’ll be less than a quarter of us.
Participant 4: None of us should die!
Participant 3: It affects all of us, Jake. One in five! How can you ignore something so important? How can you not protect your friends? One in five! One in five!
[bear breaks through door as everybody screams]
Participant 2: It’s alright, it’s fine. The majority is fine, and I don’t want to deal with this problem!
[Title card: You wouldn’t put up with that. So don’t put up with this. 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted by the time they finish college. Do something about it. Take the pledge at itsonus.org.]
