Co-parenting — two people contributing to the parenting of the same child or children while leading separate lives — comes in a lot of different forms. But the best-case scenarios, especially amongst the ruins of past relationships, are voluntarily cooperative (and not begrudging) where both parties can selflessly work toward the benefit of the child. But how do you do it successfully?

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Not only do I have to deal with the crippling dysphoria that comes from having a body that I often don’t even recognize as my own, I also have to deal with the cultural misogyny that tells me that a woman can’t be as fat as I am and still be desirable. I have to navigate this world where people either feel like my fatness is somehow hurting them or exists only to feed their fetish. And it sucks.

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Chances are that you might be travelling to Hawaii for a vacation in the near future — and lucky you! Hawaii is amazing. But Hawaii is also an actual residence for people, and it’s important for us to recognize the harmful stereotypes we often perpetuate when we talk about Hawaii. So let me tell you a little about Hawaii and Native Hawaiians to prepare you for your journey.

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