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Most articles about being a good lover begin with “How to Please Your Man” directives. Not this one. The heart of being a good lover starts with communication and self-awareness, making sure that you always carry a self-awareness and communication tool-kit. So here are a few more pointers that I’ve developed on how to take a feminist approach to good loving.

Even though you think of your first time as far behind you, the truth is: new partners enter your life. And every time you’re with someone new, you’re having sex for the first time all over again. So, to ensure that you’ll have great sex any first time around, I’ve come up with the following delicious recipe. Spolier alert: All it takes is communication.

Whispers from the mainstream media, pornography, friends, and locker room walls sell lies, telling us what we want to hear, convincing us of untruths. It’s like a game of Telephone, but what’s at stake is our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. And that’s a dangerous game. So here’s the truth – about penises.

I started watching porn in elementary school and now can’t climax without fantasizing about porn during sex. I feel estranged from my sexuality, like it’s somebody else’s. So I’m trying to reprogram myself — unlearn my socialized porn-inspired sexuality. I want to reclaim my sexual desires and figure out what feels good through honest sensual exploration.

Everyday Feminism’s Speakers Bureau Speakers HomeList of SpeakersBook a Speaker Afrosexology Afrosexology provides comprehensive pleasure based education centered around the experiences and liberation of Black people. Afrosexology curates online content, community discussions, educational materials, and sex positive events that cover topics such as masturbation, self love, enhancing communication in relationships, radical twerking, oral sex, and…

Male allies are extremely important and valuable to the feminist movement! They use their positions of privilege to further the cause in ways that women can’t, and for that we’re grateful. That said, there are a few trends in male feminist behavior that could definitely stand to change. Watch Melissa A. Fabello give a few tongue-in-cheek reminders to male feminists.

She was terrified after hearing that sex would hurt. But painful sex is not inevitable – and these are some awful results of saying that it is.

“I’m not into Asian dudes.” Is it just a “preference” when so many people fetishize East Asian women and ignore men? Franchesca Ramsey shares what’s really going on.

In a world where sexual violence is still the butt of too many jokes, Liz Miele flawlessly drenches humor in feminism and wrings patriarchy down the drain.

Contrary to popular belief, being sexually active does not automatically mean a teen has problems and is in need of help. With the appropriate education and resource, sexual connection can be healthy for teenagers. But treating sexually active teens as delinquents and stigmatizing them can create the very problems many claim to be trying to avoid.

With inaccurate media representations and the cultural stigma, there are a lot of misconceptions about people in the sex industry. We too often fail to see the complexity and diversity in who is engaged in commercial sex, why they’re doing it, and the degree of consent and coercion involved. These myths keep us from seeing this issue for what it really is. So let’s debunk them.

Intersex is one of the often-left out categories when the LGBTQIAP alphabet is abbreviated as LGBT. The QUIAP is often ignored completely or briefly covered, but people who have these identities are marginalized not only in society, but also often within LGBTQIAP spaces themselves! Intersex identities exist. And we need to start recognizing them.

Saying “no” to a request for a sexual activity can often bring up feelings of shame and awkwardness, even with people we’re in ongoing relationships. When you have trouble saying “no” to a simple (platonic) request, how do you say it to someone that you actually really like and want to do something sexual with later? Here are some ways to develop your comfort with saying “no.”

Pornography sucks at depicting realistic sex, including lesbian sex. Yes, it’s supposed to be a fantasy. But the problem with that excuse is that without any factual knowledge to keep you grounded paired with misconceptions already being spread by mainstream media, you can become miseducated and end up believing that’s what they’re probably like. And that has a real effect on queer women.

We’re all raised in a society that’s built on ableist values that are also linked to white supremacy, capitalism, and colonization, which is why the people we love sometimes have oppressive views.

If you grew up Latinx in the United States, you might have spent your most formative years going to church with your abuelita — not talking openly about sex or relationships with your parents. I was raised in a very Catholic, Mexican-American family. My Catholic school education included lectures by religion teachers about the dangers…

What does “feminine energy” mean to you? Many white feminists find it to be a liberating concept, but here’s the harm behind it.

Have you talked to your kids about the election of Donald Trump? It’s tough to figure out how – here are some insights that can help.

#2: “Make it personal.” It might be hard, but if you’re South Asian, try using these tips to challenge anti-black police violence in your family and community.

The concept of virginity is harmful in many ways – but here’s one option that changed this author’s approach for the better. Find out how the idea of multiple virginities helps her.