People often talk about thinness, and the desire for thinness as a given. It’s so ingrained in our culture (thanks, $58.6 billion diet industry) that we don’t often ask the question “Why do you want to be thin?” What would being thin mean to you? I want to break apart some thinness myths. Let’s take a closer look at nine supposed benefits of being thin.

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I’m concerned when superficial observations are made which in some way praise or compliment someone’s appearance. Because at the end of the day, It’s impossible to know what kind of perception someone has of their own body image. Is it really appropriate or even friendly to make random comments on someone’s body, regardless of how short, tall, fat, or thin they are?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions people make about living in a fat body. I want to break some of those erroneous assumptions about living in a fat body down. I want to talk about how it feels to live in a fat body.

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Myths and stereotypes about weight are so normalized. So it’s no wonder if you (person who is worried about a loved one) are invested in the idea that fat is bad or want them to be spared the pain of being fat in our society. And it’s no wonder that you (person who has gained weight or is fat) may have some mixed feelings about the “help” that people want to give. Here’s some ways to have this conversation.

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The beauty ideal has changed over time, but the idea that there is only one way to have a beautiful body has not. The current one necessitates thinness. Until we’ve accomplished thinness, we are works in progress, and that there is no excuse for not participating in this. It’s not about policing how we look, they tell us. It’s for our health, for our own good! As if.

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While we talk a lot about harmful media beauty ideals like extreme thinness, sex appeal, etc, one of the most oppressive ideals excludes anyone who isn’t white – ie whitewashing of beauty. And in our society, it has a negative impact on females who rarely see images of their own races depicted in a positive manner and on how white people (and all people) view women of color.

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“Lose 20 pounds, and you’ll feel better.” “If you started exercising, this wouldn’t be a problem.” If you aren’t thin, chances are you’ve gone to the doctor’s office about a lingering cold, or a hurt elbow and had to listen to comments like these from your doctor. These situations can be awkward, and triggering. So can we handle them in the moment?

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