White woman 1: Hey Francesca. Do you remember that time we were out and that totally random girl came up and just started touching your hair and how annoying that was for you?

Franchesca: Actually what I remember was you interrupted me to explain why it was offensive.

White woman 1: Yeah, oh that was awesome.

Franchesca: I love that you want to speak up for me, but I don’t really need you to explain racism for me. That’s this thing called–

White man 1: whitesplaining. It’s when a white person explains why something is offensive to a person of color. It’s considered super condescending babe.

Franchesca: Thanks, but again, you don’t need to tell me–

White woman 2: how she feels Brad. Trying to give people of color “permission” for how they can or should feel is treating them like children. It’s like when a man is–

White man 1: mansplaining, I’ll take this one.

Franchesca: Stop, you all need to realize that–

White man 2: white people can’t decide what is and what isn’t racist.

Franchesca: Did you just come into our apartment just to correct me?

White man 1: It’s cool, I grew up in a diverse neighborhood, so I know your struggles.

Franchesca: I don’t think that you do and that’s–

White man 3: really patronizing! She doesn’t need you to tell her about her experience.

Franchesca: Who are you and how did you get in here?

White man 3: Don’t mind me. I teach African American studies and I appear wherever the needy need me. I was actually in Ferguson last week. Or was it Baltimore?

Franchesca: Either way that’s–

White woman 3: not the point! Let me take this one. While it’s important to empathize with the struggles that minorities can have, that doesn’t mean that you can speak for them.

Franchesca: Or speak at all for that matter.

White woman 3: Excuse me, I have the talking stick. I also watched 12 Years a Slave.

White man 1: I saw Django Unchained.

White man 3: Have you seen The Wire?

White man 2: Ta-Nehisi Coates!

Everyone: Great Atlantic article!

Franchesca: Stop! I realize you all mean well, but you’re actually doing the wrong thing by hijacking the conversation. It’s also arrogant to assume that you know what it’s–

White woman 4: Like to be–

White man 4: a person of color and–

White man 5: how they–

White woman 5: feel!

White woman 1: Stop don’t you see what this is? Don’t you see what’s going on here? It’s called whitesplaining. I recently learned about it from some sources that I trust, and honestly I wouldn’t put up with it if I were you.

Franchesca: I don’t even know what to say right now.

Everyone: You’re welcome. Boop.