5 Comebacks For Your Racist Relative During The Holidays

FRANCHESCA RAMSEY: I just recorded this whole video and didn’t have my microphone on. Awesome.

Hey friends, long time no see. The holidays are right around the corner, and that of course means lots of yummy food and drinks, exchanging presents, and of course spending time with our friends and family.

Unfortunately, for some of us that also means spending time with those family members who aren’t so culturally sensitive, racist. So I decided to put together five comebacks for that racist relative this holiday season.

You can always use sarcasm. “Whoa, is it 2014 or 1814 up in here?” “I mean what’s next, the right to vote, integrated schools, a black president?” Wait what?

Bust out some statistics. “When you consider that 83% of white murder victims were killed by other white people the real question becomes when are we going to talk about white on white crime?”

Then there’s always the good old fashioned smack down. “As much as I’d like to discuss how African Americans and people of color have been marginalized throughout history resulting in the normalization of their oppression and mistreatment through laws and social norms meant to uphold white supremacy, these sweet potatoes aren’t going to eat themselves. Let’s dig in.”

When someone makes a racist or inappropriate joke, act like you completely don’t get it and make them explain it to you point by point. “Can you explain it to me like I’m a three-year-old because I’m having a hard time seeing how it’s funny rather than just upholding the mistreatment of a marginalized group of people. Is it just me?”

Or when in doubt, just be honest. “It makes me really uncomfortable when you say things like that, so in the spirit of the holidays can we just try to love and respect everybody, I mean that’s not so much to ask, right?”

I will be the first one to acknowledge that it is super tough and scary to call people out; especially when it’s someone that you love.

You really do have to pick your battles here. Around the dinner table is usually not the best place for social justice 101. If you can come up with a witty comeback or one liner to let the person know that you’re not comfortable with what they said but not make a huge deal out of it that turns into a ginormous blowout that ruins your dinner, I think that that’s the best way to go.

It’s better to say something then nothing at all, but I also want to encourage you to reach out to that person or family member afterwards away from the holiday, on the phone, at a coffee shop, in an email, and let them know why what they said was problematic and how it hurt you so that they can learn from the situation.

I know that it’s scary but we have to have these hard conversations because that’s the only way that people are going to learn and grow. The first place that it starts is in your community and your community starts with your family, and I don’t know what that voice is but you know what I mean.

I want to hear from you. Have you ever had a family member say something completely inappropriate or racist during the holidays and how did you deal with it?

Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe. Have a happy and healthy holiday and I will see you when I see you. Bye.

[Bloopers] As much as I’d like to … Through laws and social un norms … Laws and social norms meant to uphold … I was so close. Through laws and social norms mean to uphold white supremacy.

Damn it. Can we talk about this; my golden pooch? Patrick got him for me for my birthday. Isn’t he so cool? The doggies hate him but I love him. I love gold. Does my husband know me or what? Gold, cheesy and dogs. It’s the perfect trifecta of a birthday present.