JON STEWART: Welcome back. Sexism: Does it still exist? Many men say no. Jessica Williams explores.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: People complain a lot about sexism these days. But thankfully, there are those who know the truth.
BILL O’REILLY: I’m not buying this inequality business; I’m not.
JOHN STOSSEL: Men from women are different, and we should celebrate that, rather than claiming women are victims.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: If anything, it’s not the women who are victims, it’s the men.
CHRIS CHRISTIE: In this sort of feminized atmosphere in which we exist today, old fashioned tough guys are in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that’s going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Right, they are the ones in danger, but women actually have it great. Look at me, I’ve got a high-powered job in New York. But I get benefits men will never see. Come spend a day in my fun world. Let’s go!
Now let’s take my walk to work. For most guys, it’s just a calm, boring commute. But for me, it’s like I’m competing in a beauty pageant every day. Do men get super nice things said to them when they walk by an open construction site?
MAN #1: Hola!
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Hola.
MAN #1: How are you?
JESSICA WILLIAMS: I’m fine. How are you?
MAN #1: Good, good. You look good.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Thanks.
MAN #1: What is your name?
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Or walking by a random security guard on his lunch break.
MAN #2: I like your hair.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Thank you. Yes, I do have nice hair, Mr. Rent-a-Cop. And if I don’t want people talking to me when I walk to work, all I have to do is… Go four blocks north to avoid teenagers hanging out at the bodega, three blocks west to get around those creepy old guys playing dominos.
Oh, and avoid Wall Street douches, white guys, Latino guys, Black guys, Middle Eastern guys. Really, any men. And it only takes 55 minutes to get to work!
And look at how much exercise I get!
Hold on, hold on, is that guy staring at my ass? Thanks, sir, that’s sweet. Whoo!
How could any women possibly be bothered by this? Incredibly, I found one or two ladies who are.
Thank you so much for sitting down with me. I really appreciate it.
Whoa. All right, ladies, let’s hear it.
WOMAN #1: I think it’s 100% of the time, that you have vulnerability, as you’re a woman walking down the street.
WOMAN #2: I think that’s a scary part for me. I never know how to respond. Should I respond? Is my safety compromised if I make a response, if I call them out?
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Your safety? Geez, listen up already.
WOMAN #3: They mean it in a nice way, I think. Like they find you attractive.
WOMAN #4: Most of the time, yeah.
WOMAN #3: Or they want to just pay a compliment.
WOMAN #5: When I was younger, I didn’t like it. It used to bother me. I felt like, “Oh, this is so sexist. Blah, blah, blah.” Now I’m like, if it doesn’t happen, I’m like, “Excuse me.”
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Exactly. You should be flattered.
WOMAN #6: One time, I was walking down the street and this man came up, literally inches behind me. It was like, “I want to (bleep) you in the (bleep).”
JESSICA WILLIAMS: What?
WOMAN #1: A guy once said he wanted to (bleep) me on my tits and take a dump on my breasts.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: I’m so sorry that happened.
WOMAN #7: “Beautiful” is fine. But “Bitch, I want to eat your (bleep)?” That’s a whole different story.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: And the sad thing is, that guy will probably be happy to tell you that story. But come on, how often does the gross stuff really happen? Where are some places on this map that you’ve been street harassed?
WOMAN #7: South Bronx.
WOMAN #3: Long Island City.
WOMAN #2: [inaudible 00:03:37]
WOMAN #3: Atlantic Avenue.
WOMEN #2: Upper West Side.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Oh, that leaves a lot of safe places. You’ll be safe right around here.
WOMAN #1: Actually, I’ve been harassed on one of those sight-seeing cruises.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Oh, for the love of God. Are you serious?
WOMAN #1: Yes.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Okay, fine. But whose fault is all this really anyway?
MAN #3: I don’t know that we can restrain boys from being boys, the long stare, the off-hand comment. You have to—what do you do, excuse it? Because it was certainly provoked.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Oh, right. What makes you think you can just go outside, wearing a dress, or pants, or a red shirt?
WOMAN #2: You can walk down the street in a burqa. You can walk down the street in a bikini. It doesn’t matter. You’re still going to get harassed.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: If you make eye contact with anyone, it’s like, “Oh, that was an invitation for you to say something or look at me too long.”
Whoa, whoa, make eye contact? Ladies, you’re clearly not walking down the street the right way.
Rule number one: Always wear over-sized headphones.
Rule number two: Master the fake phone call. Hello? Beyonce?
Rule number three: Avoid eye contact at all costs. Keep your head down. For the love of… Oh, (bleep).
And there’s tons of other fun solutions, too.
WOMAN #1: My normal response is just put on bitch face. And just walk straight ahead, completely ignore them.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Do you guys all have a bitch face? Ooh yeah, I don’t want to mess with you.
But if you really need to get somewhere, there are things you can do. You’re a grand old flag, you’re a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may you wave. Like act like a psycho. You’re the emblem of, the land I love.
Or for real safety, all you have to do is get a travel buddy. The more, the better.
Who lives in the Upper West Side? Let’s go. Does anybody need to stop at a bodega on the way home? Does anybody live in Williamsburg? Anyone? We’ve got two in Williamsburg.
It seems we can only dream of the day when women can walk down the street, and confidently say— Say it with me, “Sir, it is not okay for you to say that you want to take a (bleep) on my tits and a dump on my breasts. Also, that’s redundant.”
JON STEWART: Jessica Williams.
