Hey, I’m Hannah Witton, and this is “Just One Question” on Moral Courage TV. Today, I’m going to be talking about how to call out your friends when they make sexist jokes.
When you’re with your friends and you’re having a good time, and someone might make a sexist joke, and everyone laughs along. It’s easier to accept it and be in with the group rather than make a point about it, right?
But it’s these kinds of casual jokes in the everyday language that we use, that subtly help feed a culture of sexism.
When I find myself in these situations, I’ve observed that these kind of jokes are some sort of macho competition between the guys.
And often, girls feel the pressure to be “one of the guys” for fear of being labeled a “party pooper” or a “feminazi.” Lots of “quotations.” If you want your friends to think twice before they make these kinds of jokes, but you’re not sure how, we’ve come up with three ways to help you out.
1. Make It Personal
Would your friends make a joke about abuse if they knew that someone in the room had experienced that?
Make your friends understand that what they’re saying could really hurt someone, whether or not they’re actually there to hear the joke.
I’ve tried to do this with my friends who like to use the word “gay” as a joke to describe things that are bad or rubbish.
I’ve tried to help them empathize with people who are gay and how it would feel to hear people say that your sexual orientation and something that’s just a part of who you are and you can’t change, is crappy.
This isn’t about censoring freedom of speech. This is about getting people to make intelligent choices about the things that they say.
2. Be Respectful
No matter how tempting it is, you don’t want to alienate people by shoving your opinions down their throats.
If someone says something you find offensive, politely tell them why it’s offensive. Make it clear that what you think they’re saying is mean, unnecessary and unfunny.
If you’re respectful, it will help you seem more approachable, which will help for…
3. Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Avoid shouting matches. People’s opinions aren’t going to change straight away. Eventually, people will listen.
If you’re the one in the group that calls out sexist behavior, then eventually, someone might privately talk to you and there, you can continue the conversation.
Thanks for watching.
I hope this video has been helpful. Let us know in the comments if you’ve got any advice for people who want to work up the courage to call out their friends on issues that they care about.
Make sure you check out the other videos on the Moral Courage Channel for inspirational stories, and there’s a video on my channel all about how to be a good ally.
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