Panel 1
Five people with smiles on their faces.
Text: I was at a retreat for an international Women’s volunteer Organization.
I was the only Asian there.
Panel 2
Person 1 is with a smile on the face and folded hands.
Person1: Confucius say: man who cut self while shaving lose face.
Text: Overall it was great, but then it happened…
Panel 3
The people on the left and right are laughing with wide grins on their faces and eyes closed, while the person in the middle has a smaller smile on the face with one hand folded across the middle and eyes open. “HA’s” are above their head.
Text: I don’t know why I laughed along.
Panel 4
Person on the left says something with a big smile on the face, open eyes, and hands up and palms facing out. Person in the middle is looking at the person on the left from the corner of the eyes with a slightly hurt look on the face thinking Heh…. Person on the right is laughing with eyes closed; HA’s above the head.
Text: And then it happened again.
Panel 5
Person on the left laughing out loud with eyes closed, HA’s above the head. Person in the middle with both arms folded across the middle with a hurt look on the face. Person on the right is making a comment with a big smile on the face and one finger of a hand pointing up.
Text: …and again
Panel 6
Person is seated alone at a round table with a sad look on the face.
Text: I can’t remember if there was a fourth.
What I remember is how it made me feel.
I instantly felt awkward and that I didn’t exist. My colleagues were oblivious about what these jokes might mean to someone like me.
Panel 7
Person with a questioning look on the face.
Person: Are you looking for something to be upset about?
Text: When I told my husband (who is white).
Panel 8
Person with wide-eyed stare and a surprised and puzzled look on the face.
Person: I never think of you as non-white. I just think of you as a person.
Text: When I told my best friend.
Panel 9
Text: Well yes, I am a person. But part of what make me a person is my Chinese heritage.
The color of my skin, the shape of my eyes, and the history of my people –
It’s all part of my personhood.
Panel 10
Caricature of a person with a smiling face and widespread arms pointing up. Image on the top right corner of a paintbrush within a box with TOOL written above and Brush written below. An upward arrow points towards one of the arms with the word click below it.
Text: It’s hard when people claim to treat you as a person, but their concept of person is so centered on the Caucasian experience.
Panel 11
Caricature of a person with an upset look on the face and widespread arms pointing down. Image on the top right corner of a paint bucket within a box with TOOL written above and Paint Bucket written below. In the right bottom of the screen is seen a black box with Color written inside with another box in gray just below with Default written within. An upward arrow points towards the Default box with word click below it.
Text: “Not seeing color?”
Panel 12
Picture of a person with a frown on the face and hands thrown up with palms out and surrounded by question marks on the left and POOF on the right. Image on the top right corner of a paint bucket within a box with TOOL written above and Paint Bucket written below.
Text: …just means defaulting to the societal standard, which is white.
Panel 13
Picture of a person with an emphatic look on the face and downturned, twisted mouth and eyes turned up with a finger pointing up. Image on the top right corner of a paint bucket within a box with TOOL written above and Paint Bucket written below. Image of a gray box on the top left corner with UNDO (CTRL + Z) within and click! written below.
Text: But I’m not white. My race is a significant part of my personhood. It affects how I experience things, including jokes about Asians.
Panel 14
Images from panel 4, 5, 8 and 7 are shown left to right and top to bottom in the background.
Text: When they don’t “see color”, it becomes okay to make jokes about Asians in front of me, and then accuse me of getting upset over “nothing”.
Panel 15
Person is seated alone at a roundtable with a contemplative look on the face.
Text: One of my African American friends scolded me for not speaking up. He said I should have made to stop and reminded them I am Chinese.
Would I have made a difference?
Would they have reacted the same way as my best friend and my husband? Would they have dismissed me as overreacting?
I don’t know.
But for my part, I think I’ll try to say something next time, though I’m not sure what.
There’s only one thing I know for sure.
There will be a next time.
