Trumping: The Hilarious Makeup Tutorial That Will ‘Make Your Face Great Again’

March 14, 2016 / F-Comedy

A Donald Trump-inspired makeup tutorial? It’s not as awful as it sounds – actress Tess Paras is calling out Trump’s hateful rhetoric with some biting satire.

While we’re not down with making fun of someone’s appearance (something Trump clearly has no problem doing), this is more about bringing attention to the racism and xenophobia that’s rampant in the “sound bites and lies” of the current Republican presidential front-runner.

Paras told Mic that she was inspired after watching the John Oliver segment on Trump: “All I could think about was how so many people aren’t taking a closer look at all the irresponsible, inflammatory, and xenophobic things he says. I thought that a beauty-vlogger character would be a fun vehicle to really draw attention to that. If it’s easy for all of us to criticize a woman for the precision of her eyeliner, we can make the effort to hold a mirror up to Donald Trump for his actions.”

We’re glad she went for it. Get your Cheetos ready and check this out to learn how to “make your face great again.”

With Love,
The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

Tess: Hi, guys. It’s Tess here and I’m ready with another beauty blog for you. A lot of you guys have been writing me and asking me to this really popular look that’s trending these days. It’s not strobing, it’s not contouring; it is Trumping.

I’m really excited to make your face great again. The first thing you need is to pick a concealer. And you want to pick a concealer that is about ten shades lighter than your skin tone. I personally like to use a shade that is called “Veiled White Supremacy” but really you can use any shade that’s really light and makes you look really dehydrated.

The next thing you want to move around to is your lips. With your lips you want to make sure that it looks like you’ve been running your mouth all day. Like talking and talking and talking because you really like to hear yourself talk. To the point where you’re like, “Oh, I don’t even make any sense and I contradict myself.”

Go and be really carefree and not think of the consequences of anything that you’re saying. Anything that you’re saying. And you know that you’re done when it looks, basically, like a chapped anus. Like a chapped asshole.

So now that I’ve basically done my whole face with my foundation, what I’m going to do is pick a bronzer. It’s really important that you pick a bronzer that is really orange. You don’t want it to be tan or brown. Because then somebody’s going to ask for your birth certificate and that is a definite no-no.

Now for the most important beauty trick that we have in this Trumping tutorial, is to take some Cheetos. What I like to do is smash them up into a finely milled powder and then apply that over my face, making sure to use goggles to protect the eyes. Because that’s already a done, finished part of my look. I’m going to take these and smash them.

I like to smash these Cheetos. Kind of like the way I think Donald Trump walks around his house and like, “Ah!” smashes things. He’s like, “Uhhhh! I am so smart. People tell me I’m smart! Build my wall! Who is David Duke? I hate everyone because that’s good leadership! Sound bites and lies.”

Okay. Let’s finish our look… Voila! This face is winning, America. Remember, with Trumping, it’s not what you look like that makes you ugly.

Thanks, America! Love you. Bye!

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Tess Paras currently recurs as “Jayma Chan” on the CW’s Crazy-Ex Girlfriend and is most recognized for her role as “Dana Tomas” on NBC’s hit drama, Grimm (introducing the first Filipino-American storyline on primetime television). Other notable TV credits include: White Collar, Mulaney, Wilfred, Weeds, and The Good Wife. As a comedy writer, her videos on YouTube – “Typecast” and “What If Catcalls Were Cheeseburgers?” – have gone viral and were featured on: Glamour.com, NBC Asian America, MTV News, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, Slate, The Wrap, Angry Asian Man, and The A.V. Club.