A Question to Stop Asking Trans People – Now

September 27, 2016 / Barry Deutsch

“Dear people who are neither my doctor or my lover…”

If you’re cisgender, meaning you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, you might have some questions about what it means to be transgender.

So how do you find answers? By reading some informative resources written by trans folks? Perhaps watching a video featuring trans people sharing about their experiences?

Or by asking trans people invasive questions?

This comic shuts down one of the worst – and unfortunately, most common – questions that trans people get. It’s an important message to keep in mind.

With Love,
The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

Stop Asking

Panel 1

(This panel is mostly a caption, in large white lettering on a dark blue background. There is a woman at the bottom of the panel, speaking directly to the reader, apparently speaking the words of the caption.)

Caption: Dear people who are neither my doctor or my lover:

Panel 2

(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with short hair and glasses asks a question with a cheerful attitude. In the other subpanel, a woman in a jacket and collared shirt is speaking with a concerned expression.)

Glasses: Have you had “the surgery” yet?

Jacket: When you guys went to Europe, we all figured it was for “the whole package?”

Panel 3

(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: I am never going…

Panel 4

(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a man wearing a sweater-vest asks a question. In the other subpanel, a balding man who looks like a businessman cheerfully asks a question.)

Sweater-Vest: So did insurance cover the surgery?

Businessman: Well, your wife is postmenopausal, so she doesn’t really miss anything, right?

Panel 5

(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …to tell you…

Panel 6

(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with tattoos gestures with her hand while asking a question. In the other subpanel, a woman in a striped shirt intertwines her fingers and cheerily asks a question.)

Tattoos: Are the nerves all right? Is everything “functioning?”

Striped Shirt: So I assume you’ve had both surgeries?

Panel 7

(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …what my junk looks like.

Panel 8

(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a bearded man wearing a tank top asks a question. In the other subpanel, a woman wearing a polka-dot sweater asks a question.)

Beard: Did your wife have to give permission for…you know?

Polka Dot: You’ve had the surgery, right?

Panel 9

(Final panel. The top half of this panel contains only large white letters on a dark blue background. In the bottom half of the panel, we see Sweater-Vest from Panel 4 and the woman from Panel 1 talking.)

Sweater-Vest: Then how can I know you’re really a woman?

Woman: Because I told you.

Note: All dialog based on questions people have actually asked!

To learn more about this topic, check out:

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Barry Deutsch creates political cartoons with the help of his supporters on Patreon. He also creates Hereville, a comic about an 11-year-old Orthodox Jewish girl who wants to fight monsters, and (with Becky Hawkins) SuperButch, a comic about a lesbian superhero in the 1940s. Check out his blog and follow him on Twitter and on Tumblr.

Grace Annam is a speaker and consultant on trans issues, and a writer/blogger at Alas, a Blog. She has over 21 years of experience as a police officer and a lifetime of experience as a trans woman.