Fatherly Love: The Feminist Version

December 30, 2014 / Will Evans

In our patriarchal society, fathers are taught that loving their daughters looks like control, like possessively sheltering them from the world.

However, Will Evans—through this potent spoken word poem—explains that his version of fatherly love is a practice of protecting his daughter’s agency and autonomy to dictate her own person and make her own choices.

He says, “the arsenal I gift my daughter / is to stay the fuck out of her way.” This is what feminist parenting looks like. This is how to be an ally and support system to your daughter.

I wish this for more children, for more parent’s, and for more people. These are the kind of family relationships that nurture empowerment, that combat misogyny and other forms of oppression, and that breed self-worth.

Click for the Transcript

Ever since the day my daughter could smile and then run and jump and spin, men have approached me:
“What are you going to do about the boys? I hope you got a gun, a couple of them. God help the poor bastards that come sniffing after our daughters. Am I right? Am I right?”

Fuck, no, you’re not right.

We can put a pin in the whole gun thing, a pin large enough behind the trigger to stop the firing pin on all of them.

That’s another slaughter for another time.

The arsenal I give my daughter is the stay the fuck out of her way.

The arsenal I give my daughter are 30 years of grip and tug and pull on my own life, graves I would never walk her into, a gift of trust, and these pristine palace walls that I’ve built, and a sledge hammer for her to knock them down with.

I gift her the comfort that it doesn’t have to be a boy.

I have held dominion over my daughter’s body since I was changing her diapers. She potty trained very quickly.

In all seriousness, let’s talk about your sons and the guns we put firing pins into or the way your tongue forks like a serpent whenever my daughter’s name is in your mouth.

Please read the following Everyday Feminism articles to learn more about feminist parenting:

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William Evans is a writer, instructor and performer from Columbus, Ohio. As the founder of the Writing Wrongs Poetry Slam, William has created the largest weekly poetry open mic currently operating in the city. He released his first full-length manuscript, In the Event You are Caught Behind Enemy Lines in August 2009 on Penmanship Books. Previous to that, he released a chapbook, Humble Shell Casings on JK Publishing, as well as two poetry CDs: Living in the Hour Glass (2006) and Measure (2007). Currently, William Evans tours the country and facilitates writing workshops thru Projecting Murals, LLC (which he founded in 2009), a non-profit organization that connects facilities such as schools, community centers and correctional facilities to artists from the community.