Kate: Any true relationship between friends or significant others should be one between equals, who give and take equally. One person’s needs aren’t met over another’s. Friends and partners are supposed to give you energy, lift you up when you’re down, and give you energy. But sometimes we get into relationships that drain energy from us.
These are toxic relationships and they can negatively affect all aspects of our lives.
Are you in a toxic relationship?
On this week’s broadcast, we’re going to show you how you can even tell if you’re in a toxic relationship, and then we’re going to help you extricate yourself from that unhealthy situation pronto.
Selfie 1: Diagnose the Relationship
How do you know if your friend or partner’s bringing you down? Well, in much the same way that you know that you’re coming down with a cold. Toxic relationships come with symptoms. When you’re around this person, how do you feel?
Here are a few other questions you should ask yourself if you’re thinking you might be in a toxic situation:
- Does my friend put me down all the time?
- Are they jealous when I spend time with others?
- Do they constantly bring up parts of me that they want to change?
- Do they take more than they give?
- Am I only doing the things that they want to do?
Selfie 2: Recognize Your Role in the Relationship
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Alright, look, we know we got that from Princess Diaries, obviously. Moving on.
You have autonomy in every relationship in your life. If your friend or partner is stealing your sunshine, you need to figure out what you’re doing to allow them to do this.
Are you being a doormat?
“Go ahead, I’m insignificant.”
Are you putting this person’s emotional needs ahead of your own health?
Selfie 3: Start to Build Boundaries for This Relationship
Does your friend invite themselves over at all hours of the night?
Are they constantly bossing you around?
“Make me a sandwich.”
Are they always borrowing money from you?
Alright. Once you know the boundary that you want to set, stick to it. Draw your line in the sand.
Selfie 4: Recognize You Can’t Change Other People, But You Can Stop Being a Doormat
If you’ve determined that a friendship or relationship is toxic, you know that you have to change the nature of that relationship!
Start by spending less time with that person and do your best to detach yourself emotionally.
Hopefully, setting boundaries will help you begin to phase this relationship out.
Selfie 5: Get a Second Opinion
Especially if you’re emotionally vulnerable, the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who want you to be happy and healthy.
Use them as a lifeline during this time.
Selfie 6: Above All Else, Look Out for Yourself
Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem are far more likely to find themselves in toxic relationships. You will never be treated with love and respect unless you absolutely believe that you deserve these things.
“I deserve love and respect!”
Remember: You teach people how to treat you.
So do yourself the favor of loving yourself. That’s the first step to any relationship.
To recap: If you have diagnosed yourself as being in a toxic relationship, the first step is recognizing this. Then recognizing your role in the relationship. Once you do this, you can start to set boundaries for this relationship and change the way you interact with this person.
To help, surround yourself with people who love you, and above all else, look out for yourself.
Eh, well, that’s all for me today, WellCasters. Would you do me a kindness? Subscribe to our channel. Sign up for our newsletter to receive sneak peeks and other awesome stuff. See you later!
