No Mo’ ‘No Homo’

So, I was reading to my comments the other day when I came across one that really disturbed me.

“How the fuck does this stupid piece of shit have seven million views?” Thanks for watching!

“Fucking go back to Africa.” I’d love to visit Africa someday, that would be awesome.

“This girl is really pretty. No homo.” …Huh?

I know what you’re thinking, it’s 2012. Who still says that? I thought the same thing too. But for those of you who don’t know, “no homo” is a qualifier that’s used to assure your present company that you’re not, in fact, a homosexual.

Because this phrase makes my skin crawl, I decided to come up with a few qualifiers of my own. And with your help, I hope that I can make these really popular in 2012.

Can I borrow this? Thanks! No klepto.

Thanks for letting me crash on your couch. No hobo.

Who’s the cutest puppy in the whole wide world? You’re the cutest puppy! No beasto. I mean just ’cause your cute, I wanna have sex with you, you crazy little dog!

Oh Grandpa, I just miss you so much. No necro.

FRIEND: She’s beautiful!
MOTHER: Oh, thank you.
FRIEND: Oh! No pedo.
MOTHER: What?

Have any qualifiers of your own that you’d like to make up? Or maybe there’s a phrase that really just skeeves you out. Let me know in the comments below and I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye!

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Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey is a graphic designer and video blogger based out of New York City. With over 100k subscribers on her two YouTube channels, she and her videos have been featured on numerous style and entertainment blogs and news publications including MTV, The New York Times, Essence.com, and The BBC. In January 2012, Franchesca had her first viral video “Shit White Girls Say…to Black Girls” which accumilated 1.5 million views in 24 hours, 6 million views in a week and over 9 million views to date. Follow her on Twitter @chescaleigh.