PATRICIA VILLETTO: Are you really straight, or do you just hate men?
BRITTANY ASHLEY: I know exactly what you’re talking about! I went through a straight phase in college once.
PATRICIA: I met a straight girl the other day. You two should be friends.
BRITTANY: So when you guys go on a date, who pays?
PATRICIA: There’s no way you’re straight.
BRITTANY: Like, I don’t want to sound, like heterophobic or anything, but…
PATRICIA: How did your parents react when you told them you were straight?
BRITTANY: Well how do you know, then, if you’ve, like, never tried it? Like, never been with a guy.
PATRICIA: You two are straight? Can I watch?
BRITTANY: So I keep noticing all these straight couples in these videos. Like, there’s kids watching.
PATRICIA: It’s cool if you’re straight, I just don’t want to see it.
BRITTANY: You’re just, like, trying to push the straight agenda.
PATRICIA: You’re straight but like, not like a straight stereotype.
BRITTANY: That’s not, like…really sex, you know?
PATRICIA: It’s not natural.
BRITTANY: He just jams that in that?
PATRICIA: You just haven’t met the right woman yet.
BRITTANY: So are both of your parents cool with this?
PATRICIA: You are so cool, it’s just…I don’t think I can hang out with you. I don’t want people to think I’m straight.
BRITTANY: I love this dress! Do you always wear dresses?
PATRICIA: If you decided to have kids, which one of you would carry the baby?
—
BRITTANY: Without dressing, though?
PATRICIA: No, no–
BOTH: Aww.
PATRICIA: So cute.
BOTH: We support you!
BRITTANY: You never see them in this neighborhood.
