(Woman looking into camera.)
Is your parent here?
(Title: “Shit Ignorant People Say to Autistics.”)
I’ve seen Rain Man.
Wait, are you actually Autistic or do you just have Asperger’s?
You must be very high-functioning.
Why are you doing that? It looks so weird. People can see you.
(Holding book with title Body Language)
I think this book could really help you.
(Woman almost spits up her coffee.)
You’re Autistic? Oh I am so sorry. That is so sad.
You seem so… normal.
Oh, I never would have guessed.
But there’s nothing wrong with you.
But I like you.
You can’t expect us to accommodate all of your needs.
You’re Autistic? Give me a hug. It’s gonna be okay.
(Woman walks toward camera.)
What do you mean you don’t want a hug?
Hey, I heard that they think it might be…
Geeks marrying geeks.
Something in the water.
Too much TV.
(Woman closes her laptop and shakes her head.)
Oh, I read Temple Grandin’s book. Do you like cows?
Have you tried…
Swimming with dolphins?
Hugs! (Walks toward camera)
Meds! (opens medicine cabinet)
Not being Autistic?
Autistic people are so spiritual.
You don’t mean “Autistic.” You mean “has autism.”
Autistic people are closer to God.
(Choir like “Ahh”)
Can you count these toothpicks?
(Woman empties container of toothpicks onto floor.)
Autistic people are so honest and authentic.
What are you, retarded?
Autistic people are so… refreshing and real.
I didn’t mean it like that.
I didn’t mean like retarded-retarded. I just meant retarded.
I like Autistic people almost as much as I like real people.
Just get over it.
Labels go on soup cans. Not people.
Stop making excuses to be rude to people.
That episode of House,
The Big Bang Theory,
…So I know all about autism.
(Woman grabs the hands of a person stimming with fingers.)
But you have a job… with people!
But you go to school… with people!
The ADA? Are you sure that’s a real thing?
I don’t think you have autism. You’re so…
You have feelings.
(Sliding caption: Don’t be this person.)
Aren’t we all just a little bit Autistic?
(Sliding caption: Just don’t be.)
an Alternative Assessment production.