Should You Have Sex On the First Date? A Choose Your Own Adventure Chart!

August 21, 2016 / Ronnie Ritchie

It’s the first date! Should you have sex?

Lots of different factors could go into this decision – your desires, your date’s desires, expectations of commitment, fears of getting rejected or fetishized, and more. It can all make the question of whether or not to have sex pretty stressful or confusing.

This flow chart can help ease some of that stress. Instead of listening to society’s usual ideas of how your sex life “should be,” try following these suggestions.

They can help you reach a decision about sex on the first date that’s best for you and your date. And we hope it this gives you less stress and more fun!

With Love,
The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

Should You Have Sex On the First Date? A Choose Your Own Adventure Chart!

Panel 1

Text: It’s the first date! Should I have sex with them?

Panel 2

Text: Do you want to have sex with them?

Panel 3

Text: Yes

(Go to panel 6)

Panel 4

Text: No

(Go to panel 5)

Panel 5

Text: Don’t do it! I promise it’s not the end of the world.

(A wand-style vibrator and heart floats next to the text. End of this branch of the chart)

Panel 6

Text: Do they want to have sex with you?

Panel 7

Text: Yes

(Go to panel 9)

Panel 8

Text: No

(Go to panel 5)

Panel 9

Text: (Text is inside a giant heart surrounded by smaller hearts.) DO IT!

Panel 10

Text: (Text is inside a spiky speech bubble.) BUT WAIT–

(Go to panels 11, 13, 15, 17, or 19)

Panel 11

Text: I don’t just want a one-night stand! I want romance, too!

Panel 12

Text: So you’re a horny romantic! Just make sure to…

(Go to panel 21)

Panel 13

Text: I’m not conventionally attractive, and I don’t want to be rejected or fetishized!

Panel 14

(A star floats next to the text.)

Text: If they want to have sex with you, it’s probably because they think you’re attractive! But if you’re still concerned, just try to…

(Go to panel 21)

Panel 15

Text: I have specific needs or tastes that they don’t know about!

Panel 16

Text: Talking about needs or wants can be hard if you’ve been taught that they’re shameful or don’t matter. Even if they don’t ask (and they should!), still try your best to…

(Go to panel 21)

Panel 17

Text: What about STIs? I don’t know them!

Panel 18

(A latex glove floats next to the text.)

Text: Used consistently and correctly, barriers like condoms, dental dams, and gloves are 97% effective at protecting against most STIs (less so for Herpes and HPV since they can also spread via skin-to skin contact). A lot of people who are HIV-positive also take antiretrovirals, which are 96% effective at preventing transmission on their own. Always remember to…

(Go to panel 21)

Panel 19

Text: I don’t want to seem like I’m committing right away!

Panel 20

Text: Of course! It should be common knowledge that a kiss isn’t a contract, but just to be sure, you can always…

(Go to panel 21)

Panel 21

Text: (Text is inside a fluffy cloud surrounded by sparkles) COMMUNICATE!

Panel 22

Text: What if they’re not cool with it?

Panel 23

(A mug of a hot drink like coffee or tea and a phone displaying a cute picture of a cat float next to the text, as well as a heart.)

Text: They might have their own needs, or they might just be jerks. Whether or not you do anything with them, do something nice for yourself! As a human being, you deserve it.

To learn more about this topic, check out:

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Ronnie Rene Ritchie is a Contributing Comic Artist for Everyday Feminism, an illustrator, and storyteller working out of Peterborough, Ontario. Since graduating from the Pacific Northwest College of Art in Portland, Oregon with a BFA in Illustration, Ronnie has had work featured in galleries and sex shops across North America, and their autobiographical webcomic, GQutie, has seen its popularity soar online. Learn more about GQutie, Ronnie’s illustration, or follow them on Twitter @ronithebear.