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Yellow fever. Exotification. Asian fetish. Racism. Our sexist and racist society has a long history of teaching white straight guys to fixate on Asian women in inappropriate and — frankly — offensive ways. That’s not to say that it’s impossible to date an Asian woman without being problematic, but there are some normalized things you should avoid saying. Here are just a few!

I am proud to be an Asian woman and to look the way that I do. My issue with being an Asian woman and trying to date has less to do with my perception of myself, and everything to do with the way I am treated and perceived by men, specifically non-Asian men. Settling for being treated like nothing more than an exotic souvenir gets really old really fast.

“I didn’t figure out my limits with white guys until my third date with this guy.” Have you ever had this experience? Here’s comedian Jenny Yang’s reenactment of a terrible case of “yellow fever” for Asian women.

You’ve seen the stereotype before: Asian woman falls in love with white hero and then cries when he inevitably leaves her. It’s one of the most tired tropes around Asian women in our media and, yes, even extends to Harry Potter. Check out this kickass poem by Rachel Rostad to JK Rowling on how this misrepresentation is damaging and dehumanizing and why we need to do better.

Asking someone where they are from or calling them exotic is not a compliment or a sign of your curiosity. Even though it’s so normalized, it’s actually a racialized microaggression that so many people have to experience several times a day, every day. This comic cleverly demonstrates some of the ways Asian women are repeatedly exotified in their day-to-day lives.

In general, our society is moving toward a more accepting framework, and people seem to be more interested in becoming culturally aware. But in a misguided attempt to appreciate other cultures, many socially progressive folks end up exoticizing people of different cultures. Check out this hilarious satire to see what it sounds like when the roles are reversed.

“I’m not into Asian dudes.” Is it just a “preference” when so many people fetishize East Asian women and ignore men? Franchesca Ramsey shares what’s really going on.

This is hilarious! These convos happen way too often when white guys try to flirt with Asian women, so here are the tables turned to show how absurd they are.

Some people claim that love is (color)blind. But it hasn’t even been 50 years since laws prohibiting interracial relationships were outlawed, and the effects of that history are still in play today. So how do people navigate this history of tension, privilege, and oppression when they’re also trying to date each other? Here are some ways to approach the topic.

Dating is already difficult and nerve-wracking for some. But throw unaddressed, internalized white supremacy into an interracial romantic dynamic, and things can get really uncomfortable really quickly. Check out this comedic video to learn about – and avoid! – common racist tropes that many Black women experience while dating White men.

The “submissive China doll,” the “exotic geisha” – do you know how long these stereotypes of East Asian women have been around? Cristen Conger shares some disturbing info that really puts this in perspective.

Young person sitting in a dimly lit room

If you’ve ever wondered what the “big deal” is about racist fetishes, this horrifying information about the objectification of East Asian women will show you exactly why they’re a problem.

She may be stereotyped as quiet and submissive – but this woman’s fierce “makeup tutorial” shuts those stereotypes down in the most brilliant way.

The relationship of Asian fetishization to white supremacy is rarely explored or explained but is present in every corner of the space it creates.

#1: “Sexual attraction has everything to do with race.” Do you think attraction is just a “natural preference” outside of our control? These important lessons show otherwise.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I do not see an Asian face. I see me. It’s not until I step outside and interact with others that I am forced to realize: I am an Asian female, and I look different. Is being Asian and American mutually exclusive? How do we negotiate the hyphen in Asian-American? It’s about staying true to the person I see in the mirror every morning.

This week’s video headline draws attention to the absurd double standard white Americans have toward other races. The exotification of anyone who isn’t white may seem like an effort to be culturally aware and interested, but watch how it comes off when the roles are reversed!

Racism toward Asians is treated differently in America than racism toward other ethnic groups. While the same racist may hold back terms he sees as off-limits toward other minorities, he will often not hesitate to call an Asian person a chink, as Jeremy Lin was referred to, or talk about that Asian person as if he must know karate, or call him Bruce Lee, or consider him weak or effeminate, or so on.

A person sits at a computer with a speech bubble that reads "Let me explain this once and for all."

If cultural appropriation doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, you’re missing something big. Here’s what you need to know.

Person standing outside in a yellow long-sleeved shirt with their arms crossed, seeming perturbed

Do you consider yourself a “bad” example of an Asian like this author does? Here’s why so-called “positive” stereotypes aren’t very positive at all – and what you need to know to stand up to them.